COnfession

Introduction of Princess Tan Mui Mui:
There's these few things TRUE abt me dat u gotcha knw:

• emotional like a freak
• Naive
• cant tolerate bad attitude, rude beings
• im a lousy decision -maker
• gets nervous when havin to ponder over difficulties
• not enuf slp will cause Xtreme blur ness, silence & prone to sayin unrelated stuff most of the time.. pardon me!
• do not like taken for granted..
• brood over split milk..all the time
• lazy bum..ZZZzzz
  
• still love to be pamper wif small gifts, kisses, hugz.. pls take note k..

So..if u reli dun mind all these.. u have to accept me... =)

Everyday the world is changin & im always seekin + learning.. hopin i will excel further..

the last few days have caused bits of unhappiness betw us.. but after goin through these tough times, im more excited to knw dat im stronger and not weaker than before.. Do not let our past blindfold us.. the past is a marking for us to learn to handle our r/s.. u have to knw, u are not the only one hangin on.. i am too..

Tml is my last day..any last regrets?..nope.. i juz cant be bothered atittude.. these few days have been a great wk.. reli packed for me.. had genki sushi wif rain & eileen ytd nite, the day before was out wif huilin for dinner & tml i'll be mitting my 'big' bro for dinner! woohoo~ juz 4 more days & im out of SG.. on a plane lookin for my dear!

every sat has become a boring day for mi

every sat has become a boring day for mi.. most of my gd frens a/c bfs.. some i havent contact wif have MIA.. as usual i was at hm..browsin & surfing net... taking a long nap... etc

Tml i wil be watchin Initial D wif eileen..plann to mit early to go bk our tix..! hopefully we can chop the best seats!! haha..our 38's attitude!!

Suddenly crossed my mind dat although his presence may not b wif me but his love is.. i can still lead a carefree life.. juz like being unattached.. i wouldnt mind it at all.. i cant compare my LDRS to other r/s ..

Well, there is no way to define love, but i guess when the gals here talk abt "who loves who more" on a relatively basis, they really mean "who SHOWS and loves who more"... U know, it's quite one thing to talk abt giving without expecting returns, and another to practice it... then again why is it wrong to expect reciprocity? It's a very natural human reaction..

I find it hard to imagine, how can a gal open her heart to love somebody, (running the risk of being vulnerable to hurt in the process), and yet not take it to heart when this loved one doesn't show his love? I mean, he may show that he wants u or cares for u, but that's not the same as showing he NEEDS u... and when u realise u actually need this man, it's very very natural for feelings of insecurity, and all that "i think he doesn't love me as much as i love him" kind of set in....well, i knws he loves me.. and I guess deep in him, he does care, but juz his male nature that makes him incapable of expression..
To me, a foundation has always been impt in a r/s..wif out it, wat could be carry on..

have i been over -react?

My gd fren has juz return fr aussie last wk..and she had shared wif me her experiences durin her stay at mel & Gold coast... her trip seems interesting..i hope mine will be too.. she bought a cutie sling bag for me... tink i will get her something nice too..since she lent me her luggage bag & clothes..so nice of her... I tink i will forget abt the trip to sydney if it's goin to cost too much... coz i rather be spending $ on 'visible' goods.. than be troubled over my cash flow...
Have i been over-reacting? i realised im not at all perfect..although i have tell mysf to be more understanding... there's still something bugging me...

Ohh.. now dat i juz pack all the neccessary things in my luggage..i have been ponderin if i can carry it back to SG since im comin back on a wkday..who can come & fetch me up & pick up my luggage... cool... i tink im in dead shit...

"i believe that girlfriends are to be pampered n cherished.. and while u're being pampered and cherished..u'll know that u've finally found THE ONE."
"when u are loved and accepted by someone who love u as u are, u will eventually love him too."
"while it's a blessing 2 be loved, it's even better when both parties are in love with each other"
"there's no perfect guy or gal in a r/s. Make the best of what you find in your other half."

Very meaningful quotes.....

Jia you!

Jia you! jia you!!! bf....i have confidence in u!!

Raining cats & dogs^^....I was dying hard tinkin who can i ask for help to share their umbrella wif me... and i thot of rain..i was pinnin my last hopes on her..but too bad she was not nearby yet... ~and then things get complicated as i blindly follow a colleague ( i met at the bus-stop..neither of us had umbrellas..) to see a doc before headin wk.. ME AGAIN to the doc's?? hmmm...she's in a pretty bad shape.. well, i had my cramps so i thot mayb i shd see a doc too...so we had our morn spent drinkin kopi & teh..then waited for our turn at the clinic.. wat a pal rain has been..even though she juz recover fr her illness..she still brought umbrellas for us..~ so touched... wat a good da sao she has been... fellows, pls learn fr her...hebe...~
Conclusion: The power of friendship...~ hehe...

Pretty upset dat i din knw my mum has taken a day off for her check-up until i happen to kal her office.. i wish i could be there at least..even to one of her check-ups.. she was here when i was sick..preparin tonic, squeeze orange juice for me...but i was not there even for her routine check-up...not even one..!
Conclusion:brainstorm me !!!

Ytd had a long 3 hrs conversation w my bf.... coolx...we sure had alot to tok...~ and cant bear to hang up even when the clock ticks 1am... but no choice..~tmlo has to wk wor... nvm..we can still chat in july..even if it means losing sleep..tata!
Conclusion: we are hopeless...so in love...crazy in love..

Home alone

~~ home alone~~

cool.. nobody can spy wat i am act doin..im in fact doin... nothing..reli...~~"smirk"
haix..i slpt till 11 am then continue slpin again..due to the drowsy medication by the doc.. im feelin all groggy & lamely..
It's been 3 days since i last stepped into my dreary office... coolx!
Wat i have been doin behind the scenes...
snorting my shit out of my nose..terrible flu is gett' my way of breathin... not forgett' my teary eyes... :(
bitter sore throat..gargle my watery, bitter medicine.. wat i eat has become tastleless...sigh..
hopefully, by tml i can recover & brave my last 3 wks in dat damn creepy office...

It's juz 3 weeks more...! kaoz..i have oredi packed some of my stuffs in my luggage..still pendin for E's bag she's lendin....then im set to finish packing..hmmm..so many stuffs to brin ther...~

My bf suggested we make a trip to sydney..i nodded excitedly.. but then again.. i cant be dwn for the SG sale..~and it's worth it... he highlite dat we haven try *smoochin* on air...hehe..i add dat last line...~ cool...i love to be on air wif him....still rem when both of us took the ride at escape... he said some xXx lines in the air...hoow...! The culprit ->i was the one who suggested it....*sneaky smile*

hope i wun fall sick in aussie..i's juz plain cruel to me & him...

Im readin the recipe now & tryin to absorb as much info as i could to whip up a gd meal for him...im left wif 2 wkends to struggle aimlessly...who would like to be my guinea pig first??

"i pledge to love u all my life...and will never forsake u in the midst of any misfortune"

mc queen!!!

mc queen!!! i have to admit im one... im plann taking 3 days mc tis mth...shh.....clear mc..haha..

I juz cant wk but tinkin abt my trip..im gg sn..yes!!! 3 wks time, i'll be indulgin in the cooling breeze of aussie air...the oceans, the shopp, the love....~~ paradise..dat's wat i kal it... Im feeling blessed... ~ gotta miss my family, mum's cooking, frens' company heaps...

im truely glad i have endure the hardship of loneliness for 5 mths...!!! it's so great... up to date, we have been clingin on to tis LDR for 5 mths... cool.... the first battle is over.....! we have won....

Hmm..im not on gd terms w some of my colleagues..the only pple i have bear grudges on are those malaysians/PR... i dun care a damn abt them anymore.. since it's my last mth, i will juz create havoc.... i bite..i hate..i curse..so dun try it..!(except my bf..hehe..)

countdwn:28 days

countdwn:28 days+*+*+*

Things i did tdy:
work+work+work= $
look at his pics & msgs
giggle secretly at his mushy msgs
watched Madagascar ( rated V.gd!)
shopp: bought 2 tops + a skirt

Things dat happen to me the past few days:
spoken to boss abt my trip
pc down for 3 days!(damn)
final decision to my boss (relieved)
went to surf net at arcade/Lan shop
to chat w bf for an hr
cpu sent to office for my IT specialist to fix
pc working, more powerful!!!
Thanks to Rain's beauty skills..

Im on cloud 9......(^_^)
so many great things happen to me

boring sat cum lousy mood~~

Was supposed to catch a movie wif HL & one of my colleagues after wk..matchmake them in a way.. .in the end.. she forsaked me to go out wif her fren..then the guy toa me last min..~ dat's a very bad sign for my wkend..--->

Kinda pissed off by my colleague... always bull shit abt his stuff... like he always help his frens and when i need a helping hand..~ he has alot of excuses..Fine! i cant be bothered w ur stuffs again..im not goin to do u any favours anymore... ~ still can boast to me dat if his frens jio him out..he wun reject...yet he could shot me wif an aeroplane immediately..! i cant understand y he's so thick-skinned.. nv am i goin to have lunch w dat grp again.. always tease me watever sentence i made or say.. im always a joke in their conversations.. can anybodi understand how i feel?.. can they respect me as a fren?.. sometimes i confide to them abt my probs & they could be putting some negative remarks.. thanks, i learnt my lesson..! i rather enjoy my peaceful lunch in my cozy office... from now on..im not goin to gif them any more face...~ i feel like an alien in front of them.. cant they understand my language..? dun they knw humans have feelings?.. they are not my grp of trusted frens anyway..so im not goin to treat them like i owe them anything... ~ they are not those dat i can confide to... ~ i have trusted the wrong pple... at least my closest fens respect me as a fren...they knw my weakness but they dun take advantage of me ~ they thot of my feelings ..~ these are my real frens...

Relations are hard to kip.. when u get to knw the person deeper..u realise some flaws in him/her..vice verse... i cant always be the same bubbly gal who always get bullied & pretend im still happy gett' bullied! or always perfect in everyone's eyes..i dun tink anyone in the world can do it... many frens walked into my life... frens who leave footprints..who bother abt our feelings are true frens... im trying to learn to be a stronger person..someone not to be trifle wif...~ one day i will explode...they betta take cover..hee..~

most of the time, feelings are being neglected ... ~ sometimes we dun even knw we hurt someone.. so i have started to spend time by mysf every nite recently..thinking of how my day has been..have i neglect anyone's feelings tdy etc... at least i knw i can improve the situation & be a betta person tmlo...~ but will they think tis way..?

thurs~ tmlo's friday!

some shitting experience to share:
I tink i ate something terrible wrong....stomach pain..diahorrea... had a bad 'shit' experience on my way hm... when i saw the big "M" signboard..i was so relieved like hell...~ hoo...it's over.... over... thks gdness.. bless me dat i din do it elsewhere.. but in the loo!! hehe...

met up wif a bunch of my fellow, ever bubbly frens for dinner after wk....(dats wat happen to my stomach..!!) took alot of funny, act cute pics... hehe... gossips, "threesome a noisy market" is reli true! i feel like a small gal when im wif them... i feel like im still 21 yrs old.. hee..~seeing my fren gett' over her pain, i felt so relieved.. coz i knw nuts abt consoling.. except i do understand the pain of being dumped...~

Read these:

our past relationships define our needs in our present relationships... We may not be their choice if not for their past, and vice versa. each relationship can re-define our next... until eventually we find our ultimate...

Our past partners made us who we are today...
we being one of the partners our exs had made them wat they are today...

everyone has a past tat makes them who they are today... some may not be proud moments, but those moments, no less, contributes to the person of today.. understand...?? erm..im making mysf confused...~ aniway life still has to go on...~ ultimately u will mit someone new..someone suitable... and this someone will place a special place in ur heart... all these come fr my experiences..we have to let go of the past to be happier...~

Countdown 1, 2, 3...
time is runn' shorter... days gett' faster... heartbeats beat' faster..~ soon.... preparation for the upcoming vacation is gett' me excited...~ frens tease me dat i can be a tai tai over there..hehe...~ does he agree?..

Im always broke at the end of the mth..~ kaoz...my cheapest meal wld be porridge or chicken rice $2.00 on the last wk of the mth...~ gosh..where did my $ gone?

L O V E mE

Absence makes the heart grows fonder.. i believe it's true..~

"lots of tings are never easy in life...needs lots of effort to sustain and maintain..once this element is in, it should be easier... " got this quote fr a fren who posts in my forum...

In a healthy relationship, both parties should not be measuring how much love or pampering they are receive. Instead, they should be learning how to stay fulfilled together.

When one start comparing and saying he love her more or she love him more. It serves little purpose and isn't constructive at all... This is wat love is abt...~ Im mastering the real meaning of true love now...

I (L) Shopping!

I always tink of work work work! WRONG! i always tink of earning $$$!!!

went to twn after my wk to go shopp wif E.. realised im always spendin alot of $ whenever im out wif her..hmm...~ i trust her taste..dats y.. so i manage to get a mystery gift for my man..~ his bdae falls exactly the same day as my sis! hee hee...~ easy to rem!!

I hated the sights of crowds, queues, loud noises...hot weather... here in SG! oh yes..Btw, i saw fann wong tdy..she's so slimy & so elegant! her skin is flawless too! gals muz be jealous of her qualities..

im very excited.. it's gett' nearer! i mean my period.. wat were u tinking? haha~

topic of the week~

Blogging time!!!

Im gett' more conscious abt my diet..im opting for a healthier meal now..not too much oily food, cold drinks etc.. I hope i have the determination to withstand all these temptations.. hmm...~

Im contented wif my life..im an easily contented person. my life is completed. i got a nice bf, i got big dreams dat i believe one day will fulfill.. i juz have to stop my spending habits..hee~

Topic of the day > friday the 13th!!!

I juz cant stop botherin why there's pple who are so free to gossip & spread rumors behind pple's backs..i mean, it's alrite to gossip a little but plss dun overdo it! One of my new colleague ka na complained by my senior colleague.. tink coz she's learning too slow.. not payin much attention..no interest in learnin...etc.. and my supervisor did tok to her to find out her side of story.. the prob i hated abt my senior's way of handling is, since she wana complain to my supervisor, why does she go ard letting the whole world knw aso?..isnt it putting the poor gal in a difficult & awkard position in future..?

Our failure in the office: there's no motivation in our wk environment... still rem her first few wks, did try to chat wif her..make her feel comfortable wif us...but not everyone in the office bothered to do dat... till now, she has been here awhile & nothing changed much betw their relations.. i believe a little gestures mean a thousand words..even offerin biscuits to new colleagues..i always believe tiny actions will score big..

1 yr ago, my life was like hers too...everywhere seems new to me..luckily i got rain to a/c me out for lunch... no one in my office offered to bring me out.. there's rarely friendly "hello, gd morn".. i have to initialed it.. sometimes the guys wld crack funny jokes to break the ice... it's only abt 2 mths dat i started to be on gd terms wif a few colleagues.. I hope im not wrong abt the pple nice to me in the office...

everyone has flaws..no one is perfect.. some pple juz tink dat they are too great.. some even knw it & yet they could pick on others~ before gossiping abt others.. pls look at urselves in the mirror if u belong to dat category too.. stop pretending as through u are invincible..

It's time to do something abt it.. everyone shd play a small part to make the co a satisfying environment for wk..

~world peace but office injustice~

hmm..havent spoken to my supervisor abt it yet..not the rite time tdy after so much had happened...

wed

It's only wed & im oredi in my wkend mood...~

I had plenty stuff to clear before the deadine is near...& so there i was, struggling my 2 hrs in my office...Nah.. my colleagues left ard 7pm. Dat leaves me...alone for 1 hr... I din knw i could paz it through.. thot prob i might leave earlier..but who cares?.. i got my beloved songs in my discman (by my man) & repeated prayers left me certain i could make it through..! And i did...~woo.. it's a scary sight to be seen alone in a BIG office & wat u heard is only the air-con sound..~ it still gimme the peeps.. (^_^; ) My courage has finally built up...~

Fri is the day...im goin to sound my supervisor out..~ hope he could tahan...wif-out me...hee~ mayb he might be panicking how to survive the one mth...~

I could forsee a few obstacles in the later part of the year...Many predict it's not a gd year for rooster..I hope i can pull it through...~ I hope he does too...

It seems like my health is detoriating or am i imagining things again? .. I need a breather...

I juz got "house of wax"..who is goin to watch wif me?

Monday blue

Monday blues again....

Im plann to wk lots of ots since im only left wif two more mths to slog hard & earn more...~ so i can save up...

Im not sure where i will b heading ..but im definitely holding on to u for the rest of my lifetime...~ tinking abt our future together..making our love nest...~

Walking home.... tinking how wonderful it would be where u will be waiting for me after my wk...~ it juz sounds so perfect...~All tis makes me going....~ i feel so alive again...

love!!

There are so many wonderful things i wana do wif u....~ i thot abt it the whole day in the office & cant stop smiling.. ^_,^